Sunday 1s vs Barnes Common
Author: Alex "The Hoff" Ockwell
Match Report |
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A Barnstorming match on the Common If you were asked to follow David Gandy down the catwalk, you would most likely receive a response of total indifference, possibly even a few rotten tomatoes lobbed in your direction. That is how I feel about having to write a match report after Bone. Anyway, here goes.. When eight of your team’s batsmen score a combined total of 6, you know you are in trouble. Even more so when you consider the opposition is the typically competitive Barnes Common. Throw into the mixer your opening bowler is haplessly trekking for 15 miles to find a train station in Leicestershire, anything other than a pants down spanking should be inevitable. But this is the new great again PCC. The openers both recorded ducks, before JJ and yours truly rebuilt somewhat. Unbeknown to us all, in a past life JJ had done umpire Rolf a great injustice and he was out for revenge. So when the ball hit the pad, some 2 meters down the wicket the finger went up, before even the bowler had a chance to appeal. Nice guy, but on this evidence, definitely on the spectrum. With the three recognised Putney batsman out and genuinely decent bowling raining down, it could have been 80 all out. However, fresh from his half century on debut, Danny starting smashing it everywhere. Apparently he was able to do this because he is really, really good at hockey. Really good. I think whoever told him to join the club deserves some fantasy points, and definitely the person who let him use their bat when his trusty cracked fencepost finally gave in. Speaking of fantasy points, anyone else put him in their team last week? When he finally fell for a cracking 85, the tail quickly fell with more ducks, with Leon in and out so quickly his infant son had barely opened his mouth to cry for daddy before he was back in extremely (sun) creamy Northern Irish hands. A modest target of 172 was set and Leon did his best impression of VC Wibbers, telling the field to scatter. What followed was extremely odd. The usually deadly opener Leon was dispatched to all parts of the ground, whereas the usually somewhat erratic Hogarth was inspired. Bowling with genuine pace and movement, he collected three excellent wickets. Granted, the celebrations where somewhat cringe worthy, no one wants to see a fully grown man drop to his knees and pump his fists skywards. Well done Hogey, every dog has his day. However, funnily, the Barnes star opening bowler also turned out to be a ridiculously good batsman, although was lucky not to be out lbw and caught early on. We spent the next ten overs in the woods searching for the ball, and Gus bowled like a man who had just walked 15 miles. A change was required and after a little nudge Leon introduced the spinners. An inspired idea whoever suggested it.. Rolf and new boy Luke then turned (!) the game. With the star on 94 and sensing glory, Luke’s first delivery was sent into orbit, only to be plucked out of the sky by myself. Most of you will know that I am a shy and retiring guy, who hates attention, so I won’t go into the details, but the champagne moment Thunderbitch was secured and game turned in our favour. The boys went on to skittle the rest of Barnes, recording another famous victory by just 5 runs against what has become a fierce rival. Luke finished with 6-1-17-4 and won MOM. DDJ went to Leon for his deaf joke with the partially deaf Barnes Common scorer and wearing an extremely garish Hawaiian shirt. Thanks for coming went to Gus for missing the first innings. Special mention for last year’s winner of the Lady Points Cup, Seb, who managed to pluck a friend to bat whilst Gus was AWOL on pilgrimage. In the new spirit of inclusivity, is it time we introduced the Man Points Cup? It is 2018 after all. |
Date | Time | Team | Opposition | Location | Putney | Opposition | Result | Scores | Points | Toss |
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20/05/2018 | 1pm | Sunday 1st | Barnes Common | A | 172/10 | 167/10 | W | 0 |