Sunday 1s vs Dodgers
Author: "Rent boy" Hogarth
Match Report |
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‘Brainspotting’ (‘performance enhancing’ drugs and cricket) Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose a career. Choose a cricket team. Choose a fucking big fancy bat, choose cricket whites, pads, gloves, choose a vest, choose to beef up your biceps, choose an expensive helmet, choose Ockwell’s three quid stickers. Choose the Putney Sunday team, a batting line up, and a bowling one. Choose a fantasy team. Choose a to play Dodgers on a Thursday night T20. Choose your openers. Choose to get a duck Conor. Choose to retire on 25* Bendre, Ockwell and Brook. Choose laughable batting and wondering why the fuck you came on a Thursday evening. Choose fielding at fine leg and listening to mind-numbing, spirit-crushing sledging from Beedle, choose a keeper who shouts fucking junk into the oppos ears. Choose scoring 160 and believing you can win. Choose poor bowling, choose a worldy of a catch. Choose watching Smulian smash sixes for the oppo. Choose losing from a winning position off the last ball. Choose comical, idiotic fielding from Truckfist. Choose a MoM and if you are the skipper, choose yourself! Choose a DDJ and call him Beedle. Choose a thanks for coming champion who faced two balls and didn’t bowl. Choose a TMPSGAFKACMSTBMOTD, choose that catch. Choose Thunderbitch. Choose rotting away at the end of it all in the bar passively smoking cannabis and various other illicit substances that emanate from your teammates, choose listening to Hannaprod’s excuses for not buying a round, choose Harry Potter glasses, choose pissing your last in bar, nothing more than an embarrassment of a so-called cricketer to the upstanding men of Putney, that will almost definitely to replace you. Choose your future, choose to go home early... But why would I want to do a thing like that? I chose not to go home early, I chose somethin' else. And the reasons? There are no reasons. Who needs reasons when you've got the stench of sweat and cannabis, top top bantz and all the beer a man could want for? MoM- Brook (25* ,1 wicket) DDJ - Beedle (too much to mention!) (Actually Seb for not being able to count to 20) TMPSGAFKACMSTBMOTD - Hogarth (One handed catch, short cover) Thanks for coming champ-Conor Hoagy ‘Rent boy’ Hogarth |
Date | Time | Team | Opposition | Location | Putney | Opposition | Result | Scores | Points | Toss |
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17/05/2018 | 6pm | Sunday 1st | Dodgers | H | 160/4 | 161/5 | L | 0 |