Saturday 2s vs Warlingham
Author: Codpiece
Match Report |
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About an hour before the game, Rich sent us a video of a filthy and very wet scene taken in his car. Yes, it really was raining hard. Fortunately Warlingham had covers aplenty (they were even genuinely waterproof, no holes or anything, really novel) and inspection of the playing field found the wicket decent and only a few soggy patches on the outfield. Amogh surprised everyone by winning the toss and we bowled. There were further surprises in the wicket. “Sports” Bra was getting his balls to spit up in the face. Bra’s probing length did for their openers, both fiddling at balls and were snaffled by Rich and Dez respectively. Meanwhile, everyone was struggling to handle Tom’s bouncers. They were so high that they went over everyone. For some reason this was called a no-ball...but we glossed over the rules confusion. Then Bra had his second run in with an official in as many weeks. He was caught red-handed wandering aimlessly from third man to fine leg mid delivery. “Is that actually a rule?” Amogh asked. “Is that a no-ball?” asked the batsman hopefully. Dead ball actually - but it was all news to us. All this talk of Bra reminded Rich that an enormous Ann Summers outlet was just down the road. (To be clear, enormous in the range and number of articles for sale, not in the capaciousness of the individual articles in question). Memos made, we got on with the game. Warlingham now counter-attacked. Boundaries started coming. Josh, behind the sticks, saw the role sharp fielding had to play to stem the runs. “Get on it, important, important!” he bellowed at Amogh before he cut off a drive. Soon Tush and I were singing “oh, important, important” to the tune of the riff from White Stripe’s Seven Nation Army. Anything to help pass the time. Phil came into the attack and some more short stuff did for their number 3, caught well by our resident GQ cover model, George Penfold. Then some pure outrageousness from Tush. Their number 4, now on 49, slapped another one in the air. Tush turned and ran desperately. Somehow he caught up with it and pouched it over his shoulder. I rubbed my eyes in disbelief. How the hell did he do that? With a blockathon now in progress, Amogh turned to me to try to winkle out the lower order. “Aage daal, aage daal!” he ordered. “Tarka daal?” asked Rich. “Saag aloo” I confirmed. “Ah, keema naan” Josh agreed. A classical piece of spin bowling did just the job: a slight change in grip to deliver “the codpiece”; slightly slower, dragged down to about long hop length, pea roll bounce, nutmeg the batsman, bowled. Bra returned to finish off the tail. 144 all out. No doubt a good bowling performance but we did make a number of boo-boos. Two sitters were dropped and another only slightly tricky one went down. After a delightful bit of hot sausage in the interval - along with some sticky buns - it was time for the chase. We started...patiently. Sam Sud and George saw out 7 maidens in the first 8. George at least was leaving purposefully, while Sam was using his box to great effect as a means to supplement his back foot defensive. (Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase “cock block”). Eventually the pressure relented and it soon became apparent there wasn’t much depth in Warlingham’s attack. Runs came easily, their second change were spanked all over the place. Sam got out after a decent 31. Rich joined a now very fluent George who was tucking in to the buffet of full tosses and long hops. Rich took advantage of the slow waist-high deliveries with a huge wind up and then...a gentle pat round the corner for a single. Ultimately it looked all a bit easy for them both and we skipped across the line for a 9 wicket victory. Props to George who compiled a rapid 85 not out after initial circumspection. Man of the Match: George, for making that the least stress Putney chase I’ve witnessed Mug of the Match: Brian, for breaking a (probably made up) law of the game and being called out for it TB”HOEDYDT?”A: Tushar for his ridonkulous catch. |
Date | Time | Team | Opposition | Location | Putney | Opposition | Result | Scores | Points | Toss |
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08/06/2019 | 1pm | Saturday 2nd | Warlingham | A | 145/1 | 144/10 | W | 20 |