Saturday 2s vs Chaldon CMO
Author: Codpiece
Match Report |
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Now that I am finally rehydrated, I can write this match report. Truly, the ferocious heat was the main opposition on Saturday. Even setting up the ground was laborious. After a solid hour of toil in the midday sun, we did at least getting to enjoy sitting in the shadow of Brian’s sturdy erection (the gazebo) and waited for the opposition to materialise. By 12:54 it looked like half an opposing team had turned up and Amogh humanely decided we should bat first, rather than die of heat exposure in the field. Oddly, Chaldon decided to park themselves amongst the trees and bushes on the other side of the ground. It felt rather like two medieval armies eyeing each other before the morning of battle. Combat commenced (late) with Chaldon missing some fielders. That helped my typically anaemic strike rate. Tush, who really couldn’t give two hoots whether there are seven, nine, thirteen or even twenty outfielders was soon whacking the ball lustily. We were forced into multiple stoppages due to: 1) field changes every time another bloke emerged from the bushes to join the game, 2) the keeper getting a boo-boo on his finger resulting in a change of personnel, 3) mid-over conferences about field changes and where to plonk the bloke with a hurty digit, and 4) a lot of shouting amongst the Chaldon team for mis-fields. This did not help the thirst or body temperature situation. Tush was caught quite brilliantly (and frankly quite surprisingly) at square leg, so Amogh joined me in the furnace. We quickly decided running threes would risk contrevening health and safety law, so Amogh hit some boundaries, while I nudged and nurdled where possible. Yet more stoppages eventually drove me to distraction and I got out. Amogh fell soon after for a pleasing 43. 87-3 became 98-4 after Chin played on. Henry Harvey and JP combined and went on the attack. A glut of boundaries from the duo pushed us up to 150, before another drinks break. The heat got to Brian who was trying to cajole Chaldon into finishing the innings vaguely on time and there then followed some quite ugly scenes after Brian called a wide. Blood was definitely boiling. Hugo was the next to lose his temper, loftily complaining about his teammates’ lack of intent. So when he strode out to bat, we all had a jolly good giggle at his expense when he was dismissed within five minutes. Our tail wagged, with Lewis busily picking gaps all around the field and running the already tired fielders ragged, while Brian muscled a couple of boundaries. A cheeky and very valuable 24-run partnership for the 10th wicket got us to 203. 43.1 overs took 3 hours and 21 minutes. Hot and bothered, we retired to a much needed drink and replenishment in the pavilion. Our bowling got off to a good start, with Sports Bra breaking through in his first over with the old ball. A chance went straight up and a panic-stricken Chin ran as far away as possible, leaving Henry to do the work. Mark Smith was given the new cherry and got the other opener to slice one to gully where Amogh took an important-important catch. “That’s the best snatch I’ve seen all year,” said Lewis, telling us more than we cared to know. A carbon copy dismissal - if anything with a better catch - did for their number three. At 37-3, it became apparent Chaldon were more interested in Pakistan’s run chase than their own. Brian took exception to umpires looking at their phones, but this time remained more diplomatic. Hugo didn’t get much help from the umpires either, despite more appeals than the Supreme Court. It took clean bowleds from him and Tom Seaman to crowbar out their stubborn middle order. Both eventually came off after tremendous spells in the heat looking redder than an embarrassed tomato. 101-6 and a blockathon was on the cards. Tiredness crept in and Chaldon, clearly buoyed by Pakistan’s victory and after much hugging and shouting of “zindabad!”, got to 150 without further loss. Lewis, heavily strapped on the ankle, nearly got the breakthrough with an (accidental) bouncer which Henry shelled. But that was nothing next to the utter goober Tush dropped at very short extra over JP’s bowling. Fortunately it didn’t cost much as JP bowled their skipper round his legs. Lewis then fully morphed into me by bowling some spin (#betterrolf). Sadly, this wasn’t the answer, but Chin was. An LBW went our way and then a clean bowled brought us a heroic victory. Very tired, thirsty, sweaty and smelly, we trooped off and found ourselves top of the league. Man of the Match: Amogh, for the top score of the day in tricky conditions. Mug of the Match: Hugo, for a mis-placed sense of batting superiority. TB”HOEDYDT?” Award: Tush, given ironically for his inexplicably appalling dropped catch. We were genuinely left wondering how on earth such a fine player could make such an error. |
Date | Time | Team | Opposition | Location | Putney | Opposition | Result | Scores | Points | Toss |
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29/06/2019 | 1pm | Saturday 2nd | Chaldon CMO | H | 203/10 | 156/10 | W | 20 |