Saturday 1s vs Woodmansterne

Author: Max Taylor

Match Report

Putney 1st XI took to the battlefield against Woodmansterne – a team which had won all of their previous games this season. Even though he immediately forgot which way the toss went, Dev eventually found out we were to bat first after several of his team had – fortunately – watched the Oppo’s captain make ‘bowling-first’ hand signals to his cohort on the other side of the pitch. After a brief visit to the pavilion to pick up kit – the brevity mostly due to the acrid stench erupting from Wendy’s kit bag – Putney 1s assembled to the side of the pitch and readied ourselves with a slightly re-jigged batting order from earlier in the season. Devon and GP opened up in very blustery conditions on a wicket which looked good despite the inevitable dampness from all the recent rain. The two Woodmansterne opening bowlers bowled tight lines and soon had Putney in trouble after yorking GP for 0, castling Boycs for a golden quacker, nabbing JP caught behind for a fluent-looking 16 and bowling Tin Tin for 5 – leaving Putney reeling on 50/4 after around 18 overs. At the other end, Coach had been accumulating runs slowly but surely, hoping to strike up a meaningful partnership with someone like the patient yearning of a delusional pensioner waiting for an imaginary date at a Toby Carvery. Enter Bam Bam. He could clearly read Dev’s thoughts as he strode in carrying his smaller bat with the intention of playing a responsible partnership. After the first shot was cracked down towards long on, standard service was resumed and Bam Bam soon swapped his bat for his tree trunk. Together, Bam Bam and Dev put on 103 for the fourth wicket and threatened to take the game away from Woodmansterne, largely aided by bowlers from the Lower Richmond Road end who struggled to find their length bowling into a strong wind. It soon started raining sixes but eventually Bam Bam was caught in the deep for 68, with Dev following in the same over for an agonisingly close but well played 48. Anmol (2) and Chin (4) came and went relatively quickly but Dylan Ramsay (32*)once again produced some useful runs at the other end with some well-executed cut shots and drives, supported well by Wendy (18*) who peppered cow corner to bring to Putney to 214/8 declared from 47 overs. After a lunch spent discussing the delights of central Europe, the well-oiled Putney fielding machine returned to the pitch to open up with the old ball and spin from both ends in a canny move to put off a well set batting order. The move worked. After two maidens, an absolute gift of a run-out came from Animal at mid-off saving Tin Tin’s neck veins from becoming varicose after screaming “KEEPER! KEEPER!” only to realise that the only person remotely near the keeper’s end was, in fact, the keeper. The pressure continued – and so did the wickets – Tin Tin (9-3-17-2) picked up their no. 3 with a ball that drifted, bounced and turned. Their no. 4 LBW shortly after with a ball that did none of those things. JP (8-3-17-1) held up the other end and pop a chance into the air so easy that an asthmatic ant carrying heavy shopping would have fancied its chances taking it – as it was Wendy managed to just cling on.* The upshot of the period was that – by bowling a great length on a misbehaving wicket – Woodmansterne were reduced to 7/4 off around 12 overs. Sadly, as much as this was to our benefit, it was also to our detriment as Woodmansterne shut up shop against the new ball to ensure the loss was taken off the cards. Only their number 6 made any runs worth mentioning – and we believe half of those to be byes due to an oversight by the oppo’s scorer mistaking Vik’s signal for byes (no signal) as actually not being a signal at all. What are the chances. DISCLAIMER: After finding the oppo’s scorer was genuine (she had coloured pens, a sharpener - everything) we have sent Vik on an intensive hand-signal course waving aeroplanes in at RAF Northolt. Don’t be surprised if you find one landing on the A4 in rush hour. Wendy (9-3-21-2) removed the no. 6’s off stump and in a spell which was the only to ignite any life from the pitch which was playing very slow and low by that point. GP (9-2-10-1) was frugal from the other end as Putney tried to squeeze out the last few wickets against batsmen who weren’t willing to play anything but the straight one. A run-out from Max (from a throw which didn’t manage to take out any local wildlife or the England Women's skipper) opened up the gate to the tail with Woodmansterne on 70/8 and, after GP came off, he revved up the gangly legs and arms from hibernation in the outfield to come on and bowl (6-4-8-1) to remove the no. 9 LBW, leaving them on 81/9. Chino Chin (4-2-2-0) and Max continued at the No. 11 – who actually played a straight bat considerably better than the vast majority of his team-mates. Neither could prize him or his partner out, ending up with a very frustrating and boring draw made more painful with Max dropping a sharp return catch in his penultimate over which would have clinched a rightful victory as we outplayed them in every department. All in all – a good batting performance which showed the value of solid partnerships (Ebersohn/Singh + Ramsay/Middleton) and another tight bowling performance. It was very frustrating not to be able to take the last wicket – the second time it has happened this season – and this is something we need to think about more. Perhaps we missed a trick by not leaving one of Wendy’s socks near the stumps – that would put off the most hardy of grisly bears from defending them, let alone a self-respecting human being. MOTM – Close between Dev and Bam Bam who pinches it for his 68 in an innings which energised our run-rate to post a good score on the board against a team we knew could bat. *Some of this sentence may be falsified.

Date	Time	Team	Opposition	Location	Putney	Opposition	Result	Scores	Points	Toss
16/06/2012	1.30pm	Saturday 1st	Woodmansterne	H	214/8	86/9	D		10